Yay for a New Season - Hell's Kitchen: 7.21.09

(Late blog, sorry)

Introducing the new cheftestants!

They let Jean-Phillipe have a little pep talk with them, and laid out some video tips from former contestants. You know, simple things like turn on the stove, taste your food, don't cry...

Is that chick's name really LOVELY? Are you kidding me?

They have to cook their signature dishes right off the bat, in 45 minutes. The winner this year will be the head chef of a restaurant in Whistler, BC in Canada, and will work there during the 2010 Olympics. It'll be head to head, Red Team (Women) vs. Blue Team (Men).

Suzanne - Risotto. Ramsey thought the rice looked undercooked before he even tasted it. He had the competing man taste it, and he called it chalky. Ramsey was right.

Dave - Ostrich. Neat. Ramsey thought it was beautifully seasoned. Then, there were some brussel sprouts - and they were undercooked.

No one wind that round.

Tek - Honey Grilled Shrimp. Ramsey liked it.

Louie - Sausage Gravy over biscuits. Ramsey said "Aw, fuck me," when he opened it. Louie, diner owner, is proud to serve 5 gallons of this a week. Not something to brag about.

Women win this round.

Joseph - Roasted veal shank with roasted vegetables. Again with the undercooked veggies. Joseph got very defensive when Ramsey wanted him to taste the food without a fork. He had more bleeps in his confessional than Ramsey.

Taneal - Lamb chop with balsamic glaze. She wins.

Amanda - Margarita French Toast with Tequila Lime Butter and a shot of tequila. What? I mean, WHAT?

Tony - Mussels with chorizo. I like him because he's not a culinary school graduate, and manages a kitchen store. I can appreciate that.

Melinda -Poached lobster tail. She's pretty proud of it. Ramsey wanted to know where the tail went.

Jim - Seared Ahi Tuna. He wins. And I think I could like him. He wins.

Kevin - coffee steak.

Arielle - duck. No winner.

Lovely vs. Andy - no winner, no mention of what they served.

Sabrina - Chipotle rubbed pork. Ramsey Spit it out.

Van - Seared Foie gras with minted caramel. Interesting. He wins it.

The men win the first challenge. The women have to clean the kitchen. The men get a special take out dinner from Ramsey's restaurant.

Chef Scott is back to be a Sous Chef for the men. Heather (winner of season 2) is sous chef for the women. Cool.

Louie made a few seriously sexist comments about how women belong in the kitchen, cleaning. I really don't like him.

The poor women get bologna sandwiches for dinner. They also get a big binder of recipes which they have to memorize before dinner service. The men are living it up and not studying their menues. They regretted it the next day.

Lovely pre-cooked the desserts. It's a bad bad thing. They turned out like hockey pucks. Not ok. Suzanne was set to fix it.

There are some new dishes this season. The men were standing around like morons and didn't call orders back. Scallops are not coming out of the women's kitchen well. There was a landslide of awful on the red team.

And the men? Jim can't count scallops.

And what's this? Robert is back, dining, and Ramsey is planning on giving him a second chance. Cool. Hope he's gotten himself healthy.

The men were sending out some good appetizers. The women were having troubles upon troubles and troubles. The men finished their appetizers, and then Louie failed to sear lamb. Ramsey gave him a talking to and a lesson on cooking.

How much capellini can the women throw out? About a whole garbage can's worth. Melinda was looking really stupid.

And Louie? He decided to cook his own garnish (spinach). Joseph took it up with Ramsey and that was not ok with anyone.

Next MIA - Lovely, who was dehydrated, she said, and hiding in the back. And then Amanda froze all the salmon. Frozen solid salmon. Not ok.

The disaster continued as Louie was completely incapable of butchering lamb. Ramsey kicked him out. He's gone. First casualty of the show.

And - the women didn't get ANYTHING out that I know of, and Ramsey shut the kitchens down. Before critiquing the teams, he invited Robert back onto the show, and Robert accepted. I hope he's healthy now.

Ramsey declared that there was nothing positive to say. He said both of them had shocking services. The women set the dubious record of sending out NO entrees. They have to pick two people to go up for elimination. Melinda is one of them. They want to put Lovely up, too. Amanda might be in trouble for the salmon in the freezer. In the end, Melinda and Amanda were up. Lovely escaped this week. I fail to see anything lovely about her. Melinda is gone in the end, and I think it was a good decision. It should have been lovely, though.

SECOND HALF OF THE SHOW.

What's this now? Ramsey put Robert on the Girl's team. I swear Robert has gotten bigger since last season, and I still worry for his health.

Next challenge? Shrimp. They have to show attention to detail, and they have to dehead, shell, and devein (or, as Ramsey put it, remove the *bleep* sack.)

For no known reason, Ramsey had Lovely sit out the challenge. It rained shrimp, and they have 10 minutes. Lovely was cheerleading and it wasn't helping.

The women seemed to be doing well and brought in 29 up until Tenille, who failed to remove the
*bleep* sacks in all but 1. Suzanne brought in 10. And how about Robert? He only brought in 4. The red team's total came up to 44.

It's a close match for the men. In the end, Jim needed only 2 acceptable shrimp to win it for the men. He managed to bring it in, and the men won.

Tenille was called out for being pathetic. For the punishment, the Red Team has to prepare a mountain of shrimp cocktail to serve to the entire dining room that night, including segmenting lemons and deseeding them. The men get a fancy meal at a fancy restaurant and dessert on a big ol' super yacht.

Tenille decided that the best way to get into good graces with her team was to boss them around. Not such a good technique.

Joseph continued to be a complete ass, telling Ramsey he didn't care about having lunch with him, because he didn't come for the rewards. He was a jerk about it.

Robert took charge of the Red Kitchen. Kevin gave Tony unwelcome lessons in cutting grapefruits, but failed to show him to cut it over a bowl so as not to lose the juice. Ramsey called Tony on it.

They are serving tableside scampi, and Van and Tenille are going to be working the front for that service. Tony continued to be incapable of learning how to segment a grapefruit over a bowl, and it didn't bode well. It continued to bode ill when Tony got excited about scallops and fired them before anyone called for them.

Lovely didn't have the pan for the scallops on, and then blamed Tek for telling her they were on.

And Tony, over excited about scallops, seared them on the outside and tried to serve them with a raw interior.

Over in the Red Kitchen, Robert was trying to burn the kitchen down. Tenille said "he's no differnt from us! He's just bigger and talks more." Out in the dining room, Van got into it with J.P. Ramsey warned them to keep their cool in front of customers. J.P. claimed it was a language barrier, because Van is from Texas.

Tenille, meanwhile, served a pregnant woman undercooked shrimp. Not ok.

Van was working his charm tableside, but then dropped the pan more than once. J.P. got all Ramsey on Van and yelled at him for running in the restaurant. Ramsey brought them out, and told Van to respect J.P. and told J.P. to do his job.

Meanwhile, Tenille is backing up tables like crazy. The Blue team is getting stuff out, but Andy sliced chicken, realized it was raw, and put it back into the pan. Ramsey didn't like that idea, and let him know it.

There were also problems with chicken and Sabrina on the Red team. Tony continued to show incompetence. Kevin hopped in and took over the fish.

Lovely tried to bring up raw seabass to the pass. Lovely thinks that Ramsey's eyes are off, and sent a burned piece of fish next. Not good.

Kevin, fortunately, didn't serve burned fish. It also wasn't cooked enough and was raw inside. Everyone tried to hop in and cook the fish. Chaos ensued as five people were on the fish station and no one was getting anything done.

Sabrina's burned chicken sent Ramsey over the edge. He sent out shrimp cocktail, because it required no cooking. After that was out, he shut down the kitchens.

Another wretched service. Each team was told to put up two people for elimination. Tenille thought she should be safe, but Robert disagreed. Tony stepped up to go up for elimination. There was much fighting about the other spots.

In the end, Tenille and Lovely were nominated for the Red Team. For the blue team, Joseph was an ass again, before putting Tony and Andy up for elimination. Joseph wouldn't give Ramsey a straight answer about why people were put up. "They know why, I aint no bitch." What? The others warned Joseph to show some respect, and the show ended with Joseph telling Ramsey they could take it out into the parking lot.

And what now? Insanity.