Hell's Kitchen: 8.18.09

Ramsey started out with a pep talk to Amanda, who he is concerned about. The guys (led by Robert) were full of cockiness. Tenille is pissy about being up for elimination.

The challenge is about a low calorie option - each team needs to make three dishes (one appetizer, one entree, one dessert) and the total calorie count for the whole menu needs to be under 700 calories. Awesome. Everything is weighed and calculated by nutritionists.

The men work in team - Kevin & Robert have appetizers, Van & Jim on entree, and Dave & Andy are on dessert.

Sabrina is excited because she works at a health club and spa and knows about calorie counts and the like. She helps with menu planning.

Van wants to do a pork chop with soba noodles and it's way too many calories. They trimmed... and the women got to cooking. Sabrina ended up helping Amanda a lot on dessert. The women seemed to be doing a beautiful job.

The men ended up at 597 calories. The women came up to 694 calories.

Tenille brought forth the women's appetizer. It was a beautiful looking seared scallop with a mango chutney. I want some. It got great reviews from Ramsey. The men have a Grilled Key West Seafood Salad. It was also called nice. Ramsey called it a tie.

The women's entree was cottage cheese and mushroom stuffed pork chop. Ramsey liked the portion size and loved the taste. The men brought up pork cutlet with soba noodles and brocollini. It was a tiny portion. Ramsey called it boring in terms of moisture. The women won the entree round by a wide margin.

Desserts are up. The women brought up a watermelon fruit bowl with lemon ricotta cream and coconut milk. Ramsey liked it a lot. The men produced an eggwhite crepe with berry compote and a cream on top. Ramsey likened it to bad hospital food, and the women won this challenge hands down. All three of the women's dishes are going on the menu. The men have to shop for ingredients and prep both kitchens. The women get to go to Venice Beach with a volleyball lesson from a famous volleyball player. They got rides to the beach in convertables. Jean-Phillipe met them at the beach, and their volleyball teacher is an Olympian. coool!

And the men going grocery shopping? They have to go on a weird 6 person bicycle. I think I've seen the like on The Biggest Loser before. They men looked miserable going up the hill.

The women bonded at the beach and enjoyed cocktails. Back at the dorm, they got Vitamix Blenders and cookbooks from Ramsey. Nice.

Men returned from grocery shopping to prep and Robert looked like he was about to die. He went to see a medic. Back to the hospital he went. I don't know who's bright idea it was to put the guy who was medically evacuated last year on a strenuous bike ride, but I don't think it was the best idea ever. He is in the ER and is missing the service that night at least. It's even teams for service.

Andy had problems right off the bat with Ramsey's accent. Ariel, meanwhile, was failing at scallops. They were inedible and she had to start over. Jim's appetizer in the men's kitchen was awful peppery risotto. Ariel's second scallop attempt was good. Tenille had way too much spinach and wasn't cooking to order, and then took offense when Ramsey was mouthing off at her. That's what he does and she needs to get over it. Jim's next rissoto was also awful. Kevin called it foul. It was bland, and Ramsey called it an insult to the grain of rice, and akin to babyfood. Not good. Tenille's portion sizes continued to be a problem. She didn't have enough mashed potatoes and got yelled at again. And ... Oh. No. She called Ramsey crap when he called her crap and he booted her out of the kitchen, much to the other women's consternation. Ramsey continued to yell at Tenille, who was totally pissed off. He let her get back into the kitchen and she returned pissed off and hopefully motivated to do better.

Jim meanwhile was still zombie-like on rissoto. Chef Scott ended up taking over. The men finally got some apps out. The women moved onto entrees, but Sabrina ended up with missing chicken. Not good. And Dave? He cooked the wrong garnish. Oh, not good.

Sabrina found some chicken but couldn't carve it properly. And Andy still couldn't count. He also couldn't cook fish. The women also sent out some raw pork. That is not good at all. That was Sabrina's fault. She said "Oopsie Doopsie" in interview. That's one way to put it. Or trichanosis. That's another.

Andy went to the other extreme and severely overcooked some halibut on his next try. Sabrina had more trouble with lamb temperature and was arguing that the customer was wrong about her meat temp. He shut down the kitchens. Both teams are deemed losers. One person from each team will be nominated for elimination.

The men consider putting Robert up for elimination because he missed the service. That's a cop out. The women put Sabrina up for elimination. The men put Robert up. Or, as Van said "I'm trying to figure out where Robert's at." Ramsey told them that they need to choose someone who was there. If Robert is not back by the next service, he's out. The men then put Andy up.

Sabrina said that she is a team player, and said that she doesn't quit. Andy "owned the piece of crap" he did tonight, and admitted that he has troubles with Ramsey's system and Ramsey makes him nervous.

Ramsey vetoed both of the nominations and evicted Jim, saying he can teach someone how to cook, but he can't give them heart. Best quote in a long time - "You're not the Tin Man, and I'm not the *bleeping* Wizard of Oz."

Next week - will Robert be able to return? Am I the only one who wishes he would get himself on The Biggest Loser or something similar before he dies?