American Idol: 1.20.09

San Francisco Auditions

It's only an hour! Bring on the goodness! While waiting in line, a couple got engaged - AND married! That's a long way to go for a schtick.

Tatiana Del Torro (23, San Juan, Puerto Rico) She of the hyper inflated ego, really annoying laugh, and ridiculous mini dress replete with tulle on the bottom like it had an accident in the factory with a staple gun. She decided to hand over her press kit to the judges, including a picture of her modeling lingerie. Interesting. Damn it, she has a good voice. I think it's all overdone. When Simon told her she was trying too hard, she kept interrupting his criticisms with more singing. Paula gives her a yes. Randy gave her a yes. Kara likes her vibe, and she is through to Hollywood. She has to tone. it. down. I think I hate her, even though she's got a good voice. I wish you could all see the look on my husband's face when she started laughing. Seriously. He looked just stunned.

Nick Reed (17) tried to do his best Blake Lewis, but failed. Jiyai Yu (16) is no Grace Slick

Dean-Anthony Bradford (27, Pasadena) He needs a lot of fashion help and a hair wash, and should spend some time looking in the mirror when he's singing because he looks ridiculous. He's got some voice, but it is ridiculously used. He is funny, but he is not going on. I think it was the hyphenated first name that did him in.

Jesus Valenzuela (29, North Highlands, CA) He's cute, but he's singing the kind of music I hate. It's hard to judge him on that. He tried to sway the judges by saying his kids were waiting for him, and he was sent to bring his kids in. His boys are adorable. He sang Unchained Melody for his kids, and it was sweet. Simon voted no, Paula voted yes, and Kara was soft-hearted for the kids and said yes. Randy sent him through. The younger boy gave Simon a hug.

Dalton Powell (18, Manteca, CA) Dude's good at a Rubix Cube. He fixed a messed up Rubix cube in 24 seconds. Since I resorted to peeling stickers off and putitng them back in the right places, I can admire that. His singing, however, is dreadful and ... well, nothing good to say about it. He's unemployed currently, though I think the mad Rubix cube skillz could bring him places.

James Smith (missed his age) had performance passion but had a terrible voice.

Ahkilah Askew-Gholston (26, Oakland) She's reading about how to train gospel singers, with anatomical words, which she is completely murdering the prononciation of. The editors are having a good time with her. Her fashion is dreadful, with gray/silver dreads, a puffy jacket, acid washed jean overalls (?) and tall boots.... Her original song was awful. She went to sing a different song and it sounded the same, which was bad, and said that it was because she was singing from the wrong rectum. She begged for another chance, and kept singing until she was ushered out by Paula and then Kara. She claimed she irracitated (yes, that's what she said) because of the famous people. It's one thing to have a big vocabulary, but it's quite another to have a vocabulary of mostly made up words.

There was a slew of really good auditions which I couldn't catch (and my hubby was complaining about my pausing...), but they were all fantastic. Might come back later and fill in names.

Very skinny, odd looking, and indecisive Annie Murdoch does not have a voice for this kind of show, and it was in and out of key and over the top and dreadful in the end. It was a little too jazzy, and Simon said she sounded three sheets to the wind.

Adam Lambert (26, Hollywood) He's got kind of forced Emo hair to me, and I hate skinny jeans on men. He is singing Bohemian Rhapsody, which is amazing. Totally superficially, his skin needs a good chemical peel or something. He's rough. Maybe he just needs a good shave. Simon thought he was too theatrical. Randy liked him. Simon said yes, and Kara was confused by Simon, but loved him. He went to see Paula in concert when he was 10, his first pop concert, so that is pretty cool. I hope he gets a good makeover, because I kind of dig him.

(Did you see that hair guy run in to fix Paula's hair when Adam left? That was funny)

Kai Koloma (26, San Clemente, CA) I wonder about these people who are caregivers to loved ones going on the show. What will happen to Kai's sick mother? Well, I think they'll have to figure it out, because dude is awesome. He's got that likeability factor, too. Simon thinks he has the personality of a ship singer, and Paula thinks he could improve in that regard. Kara was interrupted when giving him constructive criticism, and she got pissy and said she would say what she wants to say, so there. Good for her. Kai is through. Hope he can improve the stage presence, because I like him.

Good night, overall. Wish we had seen a few more of the good ones.