Wednesday, January 13, 2010

American Idol: 1.13.10

Tonight - Atlanta, with guest judge Mary J. Blige.  The auditions are on the 27th floor, which is something different.

Dowane Robinson (27, Atlanta) He claims to have music in his blood, and good lord, he's singing an original song.  Simon was utterly confused by his original song, and he is terrible.  It's like the "song" he "wrote" was meant for a duet, and Simon called it one of the worst original songs he's ever heard.  Dowane thinks that they didn't like him because he didn't sing the song right because he was distracted by Simon.  He kept attempting to sing, and they called security, which prompted Dowane to take the elevator back down those many many floors.

And another nameless untalented deluded person.

Kiah Johnson (26, Memphis) She won Miss Congeniality in a Miss America competition, and she has fluorescent green pants and red converse high tops....  She seems very sweet.  She has a lot of voice in there, but something about her random unnecessary runs annoyed me.  Mary J. and Randy love her, and Kara thinks she has a lot of likability. Simon thinks she could get a part in Oklahoma! but ends up admitting that she is pretty good.  She is through with four yeses.  I hope that she does something about her Sideshow Bob/Justin Guarini hair.

Miraim Lemnouni (25, Georgia) has the judges smiling, as did Noel Reese (16, Sophia NC) and Tisha Holland (18, Riverdale, GA).  I think Miriam is my favorite of that little group.

Jermaine Sellers (26, Joliet, IL) His mother has spina bifida, and he's cared for her since he was 17. He turned Joan Osborne's What if God Was One of Us into something that Boyz to Men could have sung, and it annoyed me.  He has a voice in there, but it's the kind of voice that I really don't dig.  Of course, Kara drooled, and Randy thought he gave the best vocals ever.  Mary said he was annointed.  He's through.

Kristy Marie Agranow (25, Atlanta, GA, Local TV host) She started out really badly with a bad part of Love is a Battlefield, and I just don't think that singing is her calling.  I know that she isn't going to go through as soon as she blathered on about how music and singing is her passion.  She's out.  Back to tv with her.

Montage of rejects going down in the elevator... and down and down and down.

Last person of the day...

Vanessa Wolfe (19, Vonore, Tennessee)  She jumps bridges, she has a super thick accent, she's stuck in the smallest town in Tennessee, and she wants out.  She could be big in country, I think.  I would like to hear her do other styles, too, when she is a little less nervous.  I think she's through, though.  Kara thinks that she is an authentic country singer.  Simon finds her likable, even though she is ill prepared and nervous.  I think she just propositioned Simon.  Randy, Kara, and Mary J all gave her yeses, joined by Simon's yes, and she's in.  Simon warned her to practice a ton and believe in herself so she doesn't get swallowed up in Hollywood.  She's never been on an "aeroplane" before, and she declared that she was going to "eat peanuts on the aeroplane."  I could like her, personality-wise, even though I don't love country.

Day 2

Jesse Hamilton (26, Alabama) He's almost died 3 times, and they did "cheap dramatizations" of his brushes with death.  I'm not sure that was necessary... He has never sung in public before.  This is not going to be good.  He wanted to try a Garth Brooks song, but froze.  Mary couldn't stop laughing, but covered her face and Kara tried to cover it by saying that she was upset.  When he actually began singing, Mary broke down again, and it was not because she was sad.  Except maybe for her ears.  He's not going anywhere near Hollywood.  Cheap effects to make it look like the elevator crashed with him in it.  Ugh.  Uneccesary.

Montage of rejects.

Holly Harden (20, Rockmart,GA) She's dressed like a human guitar.  She thinks she is the next great thing.  We'll see about that.  She's singing Loretta Lynn, and she has a much deeper and better voice than I expected.  Randy liked her and thought she was funny, and Kara thought she was ballsy with a good voice.  Mary didn't get it.  Randy and Kara voted yes, Mary gave her a no, and then she called Simon gorgeous, and he responded by giving her the golden ticket.

Montage of terrible.

Mallorie Haley (20, Winner, ND)  Gosh, she's really beautiful, and she sang Janis Joplin, without trying to be Janis.  Mary gave her a pass straight to Hollywood, and Kara agreed.  Randy loved her look and her voice.  Simon loved how fearless she was.  Mary was right, and she's going to Hollywood.  I kind of love her.

Montage of un-shown Golden Ticket holders.

Antonio "Skii bo skii" (22, Orlando)  He's a little nuts, but he's got a great voice and good stage presence.  I expected terrible.  He claims to be a package deal, like the dollar store.  I think he needs to stop talking.  Simon was put off by the outfit and thought the singing was awful.  Kara thought it was going to be a disaster, but was impressed vocally, as was Mary J, but she worried that his image didn't match the voice.  Randy also liked the vocals, but wanted him to lose the other nonsense.  I hope he takes that to heart.  The skii bo skii thing is idiotic.

Montage of waiting people and friends.

Sisters in wayyyy too much make up are bff's Carmen and Lauren.

Lauren (19, Baxley, GA)  She had a really soft voice, and Simon stopped her immediately.

Carmen Rumer (18, Baxley, GA)  She has the decidedly better voice, and sang a Kelly Clarkson song pretty well.  Simon told them to be in a group together, because alone, they are boring.  He told them they should be the Ditz sisters.  Randy gave a yes to Carmen and a no to Lauren.  Kara also gave a yes to Carmen, and a no to Lauren.  So did Mary.  Carmen is through and Lauren went home.  It was sad.  Simon didn't think that Carmen would be around for long in Hollywood.  I think she has some potential. 

Montage of pitiful Southern Belles.

Bryan Walker (25, Tennessee, Police Officer)  He sang a song "in the style of Ruben Studdard", and because of that, I have a hard time getting behind him because the Velvet Teddybear annoys the crap out of me.  He did a good job with it, though.  Kara and Randy loved him.  He's through to Hollywood.  Lose the Ruben, and I could like him.

Lamare Royal (20, NC)  He looked like he was having a seizure as he shrieked Kiss from a Rose.  Randy called it torturous.  He kept singing more, even after Kara was trying to talk, and Mary told him to stop trying to exhault himself.  Randy said he was not ready yet, and Randy called him a terrible listener.  For a guy who said that he was ready to hear constructive criticism, he is not listening at all.  I hate.  HATE.  HATE.  when people won't quit singing.  Security was called and he swore on the way out.  Security brought him down in the elevator as he swore up a storm.  He left, wishing Paula was there.  He is going to feel like a moron when he watches this.  God, he's freaking annoying.  It's called control and constraint, dude.  Look it up.

Final audition is General Larry Platt who sang "Pants on the Ground"  He's 62, so this is a complete joke audition.  I have to say, I kind of liked his song.  "Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground..."  It sure was funny.  He had the judges singing the song, though.

Only 25 people made it though from Atlanta.  And we learned that people look like fools with their pants on the ground.  They had the whole holding room singing Pants on the Ground.  Hilarious. 

Next week, Chicago.

Tonight, I think my favorites were the barely shown Miriam Lemnouni and the gorgeous Mallorie Haley.  How about you?

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