After last night's suck fest, I wouldn't be surprised with anyone's ouster. I hope beyond hope that David Cook is safe, because he is the only one I can bring myself to care much about anymore. I didn't realize just how much I liked Michael Johns until he was gone. *sigh*
Starting out, we are treated (and I use that term loosely, very loosely) to a Group Sing featuring One Sweet Day. Please make it stop. You know what a sweet day will be? Tomorrow. When I never have to listen to another Mariah Carey song. Jason starts it out shaky and earnest, and then Kristy Lee takes over in a screechy solo. David Cook looks slightly embarrassed at having to sing this. The Top 7 are still bad at choreography that doesn't involve standing in formation and gesturing oddly, then marching to a new formation. There was a terrible attempt at a duet by David Cook and Syesha, where she ran off on a trilling run and seemed to lose the harmony completely. David Archuleta looked pleased, this is just the kind of boring stuff he dreams of recording someday.
I'm going to have to check out the song writing competition's finalists. It has to be better than last year's horrid offering of This is My Now. And look, they've brought one of the co-writers of that crap to the show tonight. I bet the other guy has realized his awful mistake and is somewhere shoving a butter knife in his ear.
Recap of last night, with Brooke pouting backstage at Simon's critique, because she didn't feel like she got enough pouting in last night. I really wish that David Cook had just sung his song in a slightly higher key, it would have been so much better, and I don't know why no one else has mentioned that it was too low for him!
There is a new twist in camera work, with the finalists backstage while Ryan, Max Headroom style, calls them out one by one via the monitor. That's weird.
The Couch of Comfort and the Stools of Sorrow are gone, and we are back to the two groups on either side of the stage. Because there are seven left, I predict Ryan is going to put them in two groups of three and have the final person choose between the two groups. He loves to do that. It's always awkward.
Jason goes into one group, and David Cook is dispatched to the other. Carly's style has reverted to 1983, apparently, and she also accuses Simon of being too hard on her. I don't know if that is smart. She joins Jason. Next is Kristy Lee, who calls Simon "a butt at times." She joins David Cook.
Ford Commerical time, and I actually kind of like David Archuleta's hair all slicked down. Not so much David Cook's. Captain Combover needs a bit of volume.
Now, it's time for Elliot Yamin and his New Teeth. Paula liked him. I didn't love it, but it was better than anything we heard last night. Sadly, Elliot's mother, who was always in the audience during his season, passed away this week. Now, that's just sad.
But let's not let the sadness get us down, it's time for more results!
Syesha is in the group with Jason and Carly. Brooke is out next, and she is grouped with David Cook and Kristy Lee and tries to sway the vegetarian vote by taking Simon's comment that she was like a meatless hamburger as a compliment. Somehow I don't think Simon meant it that way.
David Archuleta is alone back stage, with no group. My dream is that Ryan comes back from break and announces that David A. is gone, no need for the groups.
I'd forgotten the only bearable thing about last week's results show was the lack of Viewer Call ins. Guess they are back in full swing this week. We find out the Kristy Lee is not getting her favorite horse, the one she sold to come to the show, back. We learn what records the judges first bought, and Simon actually had a little zinger picking on Paula. Then, a called claims to be "the Megan from Paula's Show," and Paula obviously has no idea what she is talking about, and then she insults Simon using several of her own song titles. And David Cook is single. My goodness, can someone make this stop already?????
To add insult to injury, it's time for Mariah Carey to sing. I fast forwarded as much as I could, but then I caught up to live tv and had to hear her. Why do people buy this crap? I think one of the backup singers was trying to out sing Mariah, and there was some strange squeaking going on. I think this is worse than almost anything we heard last night. Mariah thinks so much of herself, it's sickening.
Back to the business at hand. Here comes David A to find out which group his is in. Kermit the Frog is safe for another week, but which group does he belong to? First, David Cook and Syesha are switched in their groups. Here comes the inevitable "Choose your Group," and David A. sat down in the middle of the stage, and then Ryan tries to get him to go to the group with David Cook, Carly, and Jason. When that fails, David Cook sits down next to him.
Bottom 3 is Brooke, Syesha, and Kristy Lee. That's about right. Syesha is sent to safety first, and Brooke is safe to warble and pout another week. Kristy Lee Cook is out, after weeks in the bottom. She at least has a good attitude about it. Ryan begs the man who bought her horse to return it. She is celebrated home, and I hate this song more and more every time I hear it. Kristy sings her boot off performance to Simon, which is cute.
Next week is Andrew Lloyd Webber Week. I predict David Archuleta will sing Memory from Cats. I wonder if anyone will sing On My Own from Wishing He Were Somehow Here Again? I bet that Brooke will sing Don't Cry for me, Argentina, and start bawling in the middle of it. And I would love to hear David Cook sing Heaven on Their Minds from Jesus Christ, Superstar. Still, Andrew Lloyd Webber is so much better than Mariah Carey, I cannot even put it into words.
Until next week.